Purpose for the Pain

Life in West Africa is hard.

I knew this fact long before I ever moved here. Even though I knew full well that it was going to be very hard to live here, I was still willing to get on a plane and move halfway around the world at the age of 24. I was reading an article the other day and it was titled, "What If I Fall Apart on the 'M' Field?", and it addressed the topic of how when people move overseas it can sometimes bring out the "ugly" in your life. Even if you do not live overseas or even if you have never been overseas, I highly suggest you read this article. It is really short but it is really good. You can read the article here.

There was a paragraph in the article that I really loved because I felt like it pretty much hit me right where I am right now. The author says, "So maybe those multiple breakdowns have a purpose. Maybe knowing your weaknesses means you know G-d more intimately. Maybe you are exactly where He wants you to be, right at this moment. Maybe living overseas means becoming the person G-d created you to be." I think a lot of times when you read updates from M's, they are usually full of really great stories of how the Father is working. I know when I was a kid I thought that M's had the coolest life ever. They got to live all over the world and always do really amazing things, and they never have bad days. Well let's just say I was so wrong! Yes, I do get to live overseas, and yes I do get to do some really amazing things, but I am human, I have bad days. My bad days just may look a little different than yours. But here's the thing, while I do have bad days I also have good days, and it's those good days, those days when I see Him work, that make all of those bad days seem not so bad.

I have been in West Africa for 3 months now, and I'm going to be honest with you, these have been the most exhausting, stressful, fun, and crazy months of my life. But I wouldn't change them for anything. I have learned so much about the Father and His character. I have been constantly reminded of His faithfulness and His goodness. I serve a really cool Father, and I have daily been reminded of that over the last 3 months. Now I may not have always listened to those reminders every time, but they have been there! Not only have I learned about the Father, but the Father has been teaching me about me. I used to joke with a friend that it usually takes me going half way around the world for me to finally see what the Father has been trying to show me. I feel like so far this time in West Africa has been no different. But I am so thankful for this time. I am so thankful for the Father continuing to reveal to me how He has made me and how He has really cool things planned for me.

Now I'm not saying that I just had this epiphany one night and I just knew what He was saying...I wished that's how it worked. No, sometimes it took me breaking down in front of my supervisor because I felt inadequate, for Him to remind me that He has made me more than adequate for this time. Sometimes it took me breaking down at language because I wasn't understanding anything, for Him to remind me that He will give me the mind to learn French and that in the end, He will be the one that gives me the words to say. Sometimes it took me sitting in my apartment feeling totally and completely alone that He reminded me that I would never be alone; that He would never send me somewhere and abandon me. It's those reminders from the Father that keep me going. He is the one that called me here, and it is He is the one who will keep me here.

So with all that being said, I want to encourage you with this...even though this article was written to those who live overseas, I think that it can really be for anyone. We all have times when our "ugly" starts to creep out. We all have bad days. We all have days when we are overwhelmed, worn out, and feel totally alone. I want to encourage you to know that you are never, ever, alone. My guess is that there is probably someone in your life who has felt the same way as you. And I can guarantee that even in those darkest times, you are never truly alone. Even when it feels as though the Father is so distant, He's not. He is sitting right next to you just waiting for you to come to Him. Sometimes the Father has to break us down and that is not always fun. Sometimes we have to go through deep, dark valleys. But here is the cool thing, we have a faithful Father who desires nothing more than to help you out of that valley and put you back together again. I want to encourage you that when you have times like this, that you will cling to the Father. He is the giver of life and He is the one that brings New Life.


He is the reason I will fight through those bad days.


He is the reason I live in West Africa.